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July 02 Has anybody seen my Pussy?In the past few days, the news has been full of Michael Jackson stuff, but today a woman who brought joy to millions of people my age died aged 86. Her name is Mollie Sugden, also known as Mrs Slocombe in the BBC sitcom 'Are You Being Served?'. I remember sitting at my nans house watching the show, with everyone howling with laughter as she made various references to her 'Pussy' which of course in those days was just her cat, but the double entendres flowed thick and fast in AYBS and of course everyone remembers Mr Humphries with his catchphrase "I'm free!" which was said in an accent as camp as a row of tents.
Another significant death is Farah Fawcett who was a star of the original 'Charlies Angels'. She battled cancer for 3 years before succumbing to the disease. Her death only just got a mention when news of our old chum Wacko Jacko hit the headlines, as well as sending the intertwat into meltdown. Now, I'm not a Jacko fan. and to be honest (which I usually am) he did maybe a handful of songs that I would willingly listen to. After all the kiddy fiddling stuff hit the news, I just completely lost interest in him. All the hoo-ha about how he died, how skinny he was (or wasn't - it varies depending on whos being interviewed) and of course then you get the will etc etc. How fecking boring has it got??? I draw a lot of comparisons with Elvis (upper/downers/laughers/screamers chucked down his throat and veins 'for his own good' by the companies who 'represented' him) and the lovely, tragic Norma Jean Baker, aka Marilyn Monroe who died 10 years before I was born. The Hollywood Dr Feelgood type thing still goes on, with stars resorting to amphetamine of some sort to get up in the morning, followed by the obligatory vicodin type thing and the sleeping tablet to get some kip after the parties. This all takes its toll, so an antidepressant or 2 (the 2nd is to counter the side effects of the 1st) plus the antacid to calm the stomach after half the gross annual product of ICI has been bunged in. No wonder the poor sods heart gave out. June 25 Eh???Well, i'm not sure why, but I'm feeling decidedly chipper at the moment. Its a realisation thats hit me over the past day or so. Remarkable, really. Must be the sunshine or something.
 June 21 StigSo!! Topgear has finally got 'Stig' to take off his helmet!!!! Underneath, was Michael Schumaker. However, I happen to know that Colin Bennett is another driver who has been the Stig, as has Damon Hill.
Damn you, BBC!!! How many Stigs do you need, and when do I get my turn???!!! June 20 The PromI'm reliably informed by Bratling Snr that the Prom was good and the after party was great fun. Many thanks to Kieras Mum and Dad for hosting the party, arranging the limo and getting the kids home at the end of the night. The kids had the use of a bouncy castle and hot-tub at the party as well as food and b.y.o. booze. Snr said hes never been hugged so much!! I think he looked lovely (but then I'm biased lol) and the delphinium flower he nicked from the garden for his buttonhole almost matched his eyes.
The only minor thing about the after party. It finished when the kids wanted it to, and Snr (being organised like he is) left his front door key on the stairs. Cue two very tired parents (me and Hubs) who had to wait up till 3am to let him in. June 19 A friendToday I found out that a man whos body was dragged out of the canal on Tuesday was a friend of mine. He was called Mike, and we got to know each other nearly 10 years ago when we both worked in the local Odeon. Mike was a strange sort, a pacifist who had slipped into alcoholism, he could never remember conversations we had but was always generous and always had time for friends. He would turn up at my house un-announced and stay for hours, but I didn't really mind because he was compassionate and funny, very into films and photography. He loved kids, and would help his neighbours children with homework. My two Bratlings liked him because he talked to them properly - never dismissive - and would play playstation with them, sometimes lending them games which (in their eyes) made him just great.
His alcoholism upset me a lot - I couldn't cope with a friend who was once healthy becoming a shambling shadow of himself, and because of this we lost touch over the last year. The local newspaper website published his name today, along with the fact that the police have arrested a man on suspicion of robbery and murder. My friend lost his life to a mobile phone thief. His parents are a lovely couple who put up with Mikes addiction, and my heart goes out to them. He may have been a human wreck, but he was still a good person and nobody deserves to die like he did.
Rest in Peace Mike. I truly hope you get justice. June 18 Bratling SnrThis evening I had the dubious pleasure of going to Snr's school summer concert.
This was about 2 hours of musical entertainment, with a wide variety of songs ranging from a beautiful, complicated piano piece called Arabesque, some lovely flutes, a bit of ABBA, then a romp through a couple of Disney songs, All That Jazz from Chicago (complete with dancers and a girl who sang well, but was sooooo nervous), then on to vocal acrobatics a la Mariah, Beyonce and Aguilera (all 3 had creditable covers done) with my favourite bits (rock chick here, don't forget) being a Joe Satriani number called Surfing With The Alien (Youtube it), a very credible rendition of Shoot To Thrill by AC/DC and of course, My very own Bratling Snr playing You Give Love A Bad Name by Bon Jovi. As soon as I convert the (surreptitiously filmed) footage to Youtube-friendly format, I'll upload and link it. Such a 'Proud Mum' moment!! Snr also did backing guitar on The Voice Within (Aguilera), I Have A Dream (ABBA), Adiemus (Better known as the music from the Delta Airlines advert) and the Leonard Cohen hit Hallelujah.
Tomorrow is the Senior Prom, and I know that Snr is looking forward to it very much. He has to be at his friends house (suited and booted) at 5pm for photos, then the limo will take 8 of them on an hour long cruise before dropping them at the school for the Prom. The obligatory (!) after party is back at his friends house with drinkies and nibbles. I do hope hes home at some point before 1am, and yes, I feel very old!!! June 14 brandsYup, it was fun. I was up for 5.30, out by 6.30 and qualifying started at 10 which was a bit of a bugger cos we got to Brands at 8.15. Its been bloody boiling all day and I've been stood on clearways at Brands since 9.30 this morning till 6.30 this evening. Most of the time I was stood up with no shade, and to make things that tiny bit more exhausting I had to trek from paddock to hailwoods to race control (by the start finish line) to clearways, do a days stuff (lots of running about) then a yomp back to the paddock and home. Why the frick do I do this??? I don't even get paid for it!!! I could quite cheerfully just fall asleep now lol
By the way, I may sound like I'm whining about my day out, but like I said, I do this for fun and I got to see a brilliant days racing for free so although I'm bloody tired, its a happy tired. It also had the added bonuses of 1, Getting a day off from being mum. 2, Getting a day off from Hubby. 3, I'm so tired I forgot what 3 was!!!!!!!!!!!!! June 12 A day off?For reasons I won't go into here, I've not been sleeping well recently. I go to bed, hopeful of falling into my usual coma like state, only to toss and turn, half wakeing at every noise. Either that or I fall into my wonderful, deep sleep (coma) until about 3am when my eyes snap open, mind churning about nothing in particular, unable to sleep until the dawn chorus is well under way.
This has been going on for a few weeks now, and to put it mildly, I'm suffering. I drag myself out of bed (late), force myself to work (approaching late - not good) and by the time I get home I'm absolutely knackered. I thought that I could remedy this by taking a day off and sleeping late, so today was supposed to be a day of rest to catch up on precious sleep. How wrong could I be? Hubby and the Bratlings were told that today was for catching up, but when the alarm went off my carefuly laid plan went to a heap of shit.
I can usually sleep through the alarm (a dab radio jobby) with no problems, but this morning Hubby decided he wanted a cuddle which semi-woke me. Then a visit from Snr who actually tried to wake me up like it was a regular day, closely followed by Hubby with a cup of tea and then Lil 'un got in on the act, popping in to chat and have a cuddle before school. I decided that I might as well not have bothered with the day off, and got up just after 9 having decided that trying to sleep was futile. Feeling really miffed about the lack of 'catch up' sleep, I've cleaned the downstairs bog and done 3 loads of laundry today, although I did have a long soak in the bath with some cheesy music blaring out. This was accompanied by furious scubbing with the loofah and much swearing while doing the regulation de-fuzzing so I could don my bikini and sunbathe (why do I bother? No one saw me to pass judgement about how hairy - or not - my legs were). Still, back to work for 8.30 tomorrow, its my turn to do the long Saturday shift so no rest till 5pm then an early night (!) so I can go to Brands for a day trackside. Thank god for strong, sweet coffee!!! June 10 Brokeness and therapyWith Bratling Snr's prom approaching fast, I am feeling decidedly old and quite broke. I used to joke that having kids was an expensive hobby, but believe me - its no joke anymore!! Snr has just stung me for a suit (ok, he can wear it in 6th form, they have to wear 'business attire'), a lovely pillarbox red shirt and a black satin tie. I've already paid his share of the stretch limo (yes, I'm a sucker) and now all that he needs are some decent shoes and a haircut. He wants something like a shaggy dog style, I want him to have something a bit sharper/tidier. After all, he only gets one prom (thank god!) and hes gotta look the part. Hes also put in his order with me for alcopops for the after party (Teenagers view of healthy stuff - reef is an alcopop, but its got fruit juice in, therefore its healthy. Go figure!). I don't even want to think about his 16th birthday in August yet.......
Next is Bratling Jnr. In September he moves up to senior school and his PE kit alone is nearly 50 quid. Bloody liberty if you ask me. I know that schools think that image is important, but the ONLY kit they allow is the stuff bought from them at an extortionate rate. Don't they know there's a recession on????
I may not have helped the brokeness situation, but I've been dying to get some retail therapy (I know, but its been proven that women do actually benefit pschologically from this) and seeing as Snr's suit was going on the plazzie anyway, I thought 'what the hell' and when I saw some GORGEOUS stilettos in the same store as the suit, I crumbled. Trying them on was like Manna from heaven. They fit beautifully, and are nearly identical to a pair I've been drooling over in a magazine - except for the price. The magazine ones were over £250 *yikes* but the ones I got were the princely sum of £16. Bargain! Ah well, time to go and skint myself further - not on plazzie - its food shopping time. This is one type of retail therapy I can happily do without...... June 08 Talking about YouTube - Steven and febbie
This is Bratling snr and his mate at a school open evening. He posted the vid (brave kid!) Not his best song ever, but it was better live and I had a huge 'proud parent' moment watching him YouTube - Steven and febbie note to selfNote to self..... Get a more effective anasthetic. 3 hours sleep is just not enough..... June 06 black dog bites backthis blog was a self pitying diatribe. it is now this.
Above all, I just feel very alone. June 03 politicsSo, Blears and Smith (oh, thats Hazel and Jackie - MPs - to those not in the know) have gone. They handed in their notice to our (soon to be ex) Prime Minister to try and placate the nation. Well ladies, IT DIDN'T WORK. I am STILL furious that MPs from all parties have been shamelessly trousering OUR hard earned folding under the guise of 'second home allowances' and 'expenses'. What has really made me mad today is the bleating from these idiot MPs in the media. I was actually shouting at the tv in anger when Smith was on the news saying that her party was doing a great job of steering the country through the recession. BOLLOCKS. The only thing they have been any good at recently is LYING and STEALING. How can any MP honestly say (like Blears did earlier) that she resigned to help the public 'reconnect' with government?? Oh please, stupid platitudes don't work.
The MPs who sent cheques to the Revenue to repay what they shouldn't have claimed in the first place are ridiculous. The public knows that they did wrong, and saying 'sorry', writing a cheque and putting on a cheesy grin for the cameras to try and get away with it isn't going to help. These people actually think that saying sorry - and giving up things like oooh, cabinet careers - will help them retain their seat when the next election rocks around (soon, hopefully) but it won't. The great British public are nowhere near as stupid (or forgetful) as MPs would like to think we are. I would now like to air MY ideas to help our PM, Mr Brown, to sort out this debacle which has made our country look as politically honest as Nigeria.
Firstly, scrap ALL second home allowances. In its place, any MP living more than 90 minutes away from parliament will be given the key to a flat, plenty of which are available in London at the moment (at knock down prices too!) Government could buy a whole apartment block and as an MP is elected, they use it as their personal 'pad'. When they leave the service of the country, they hand back the key. It would cost a bit to start with (possibly a touch more than cleaning a moat) but it would also SAVE a fortune. Just think of the reduction in security costs and of course the fact that we won't have to pay up for (ficticious) mortgages!! Any MP living closer than 90 minutes travelling time can do something equally revolutionary and GO HOME.
Secondly, I propose that all travel expenses are stopped. If an MP needs to travel to and from the commons, Government should pay for a standard season ticket/Oyster card/easyjet flight. An MP needs to remember that they are there to serve the public, and should mingle with us accordingly. This will also help them to 'reconnect' and find out more accurately what the nation wants (apart from their heads on platters).
Third, stop the members restaurants in the commons from selling 3 gourmet courses for a tenner, with taxpayer subsidised booze to sip. If I work all day, I pay for my own lunch, as does the majority of the nation. I'm fairly sure that M&S canteens are subsidised (all well and good) but they don't serve booze, and the subsidy comes from company profits, not us. Also, I happen to know that ex-MPs are allowed to use these facilities, which means that even the ones sacked for their greed can STILL benefit from public money. Bloody bar-stewards!!!
Expenses can also be limited heavily. Constituency stationary costs could be abolished by having a central stationary cupboard in the commons, with MPs signing for their own stuff. Ban relatives of MPs being on the payroll - in fact, costituency staff should be paid the same as the same grade of civil servant, and the 'subsistence' allowance of £64 per day needs to be cut to the same level my Mum (a civil servant) gets. This is about £6 per day, and isn't payable without a receipt.
Anyway, this politics stuff is making my head hurt. The 'professional' advisers have been bandying ideas around (and getting paid shitloads in the process) without much joy for weeks now. I came up with my piffling (but rather good) ideas in about an hour, without pay. Its just a little common sense with a dash of vitriol. Maybe I can send it to the 'embattled' PM.....
You never know, he may even smile!!! May 28 Blimey!!Is it me, or was it absolutely boiling today?
According to Lil' Bratling - who is now back to his normal, crash-test dummy self after his injury - its also going to be "bloody boiling" into next week (he got a stern look from me for the "bloody" lol) and I fear that a barbecue is on his agenda for the weekend...... the hints have been as subtle as a sledgehammer!!
If its warm enough, I may even crack out the bikini and factor 8 lol May 20 Childrens books from hellChildrens books from hell, courtesy of Bratling Snr
You were an accident
Dads new wife Robert
Fun four letter words to know and share
The kids guide to hitch hiking
Curious George and his high voltage fence
All cats go to hell
Thats it, I'm putting you up for adoption
Grandpa gets a casket
The pop-up book of the human anatomy
Things rich kids have, but you never will
Pop! goes the hamster.... and other great microwave games
Your nightmares are real
Oh, the places you'll scratch and sniff
Strangers have the best candy
Garfield gets feline lukaemia
Building and testing parachutes using pets
Babar meets the taxidermist
Controlling the playground: Respect through fear
The magic world inside the abandoned fridge
Whining and crying to get your way
All I can say is thank god they're not real!!!!
just stuffSeeing as I've not blogged for a bit, thought I'd offer a wee missive. The bratlings have been busy with GCSEs and SATs, and this whirlwind of study - yes, I make them revise and do coursework, cruel mother that I am - has turned them into whining, churlish gits who communicate in grunts and sneers. Being me, they've been told to pack it in before I cream them into the ground. Big 'un has also been planning for his school prom (something I never had and don't really understand seeing as its an American import) which involves bank rolling a share in a limo, a snappy new outfit (probably a suit including decent shoes), the hairdo (now an actual style rather than just clippers round the sides and a bit longer on top) and of course the 'after party' which is byo booze (8 bottles of reef alcopop have been heavily hinted at). All I can say is thank god he isn't a girl! That really would break the bank.
Lil 'un has been doing well, considering hes had stitches in his right knee after a nasty fall at Brands Hatch on the 10th. I was marshalling at the time and Hubby brought them down to watch mummy 'do her stuff'. I was posted on Graham Hill Bend, and Hubby brought them onto the Druids infield (a public section) which was about 400yds from me. Everthing was great until one of the marshals near Druids called for a medic because a kiddy had a nasty gash. As soon as the medics were called (from my post) I phoned Hubbys mobile and heard the dreaded words "yes, its lil un whos hurt". My post chief and everyone involved were absolutely amazing - St Johns ambulance collected lil 'un and Hubby and whisked them off to the med centre while I waited till the end of session (nerves jangling) with big 'un when the course car picked us up and took us to the med centre where lil 'un was laying being stitched with a big grin and welcomed me with "the docs are great! I've got a lolly and a chocolate bar!!". He was also told that he was braver than a lot of the drivers that come in with less minor injuries, which pleased me no end. The stitches should be taken out on friday (yay!) and hopefully lil 'un will stop walking like Herr Flick of the Gestapo lol
May 05 Im so easily distra..... ooh bunnies!*sighs* well, what started as a minor distraction on facebook (now to be known as fb) has now become a fairly major distraction. I'm talking about the 'Mafia Wars' game. In my quest to move up the levels, I foolishly sent out fb friend invites to a large list of people who were on the fb mafia wars forum. So far (just over 3 hours after sending the invites) I've added about 28 mafia wars 'friends' to add to my gang, which makes me a more powerful mafiosa, earning me more money (loadsa fake $$$), winning more fights and helping to boost my game stats. Problem being is that its all time consuming and I hate the fact that I had to create a new friends list (editing settings for profile and info access along the way) just for the new game du jour. When I do finally tire of this madness, I can delete these friends of convenience - or if any notice lil ole me in the middle of their 3000+ (mafia wars) friends lists and take the trouble to say 'hello', I may keep them ;)
Like I said...... I'm sooooo easily distrac.......
oooh!!! shiny car!!!!
 May 01 In case we forgetFifteen years ago, two very promising lives ended. Today is the anniversary of the death of Formula 1 driver Ayrton Senna who died after his car lost control at 192mph during the San Marino grand prix at the Imola circuit. He is remembered as a very talented, flamboyant, three times world champion grand prix driver. The meeting also claimed the life of another driver - the less well known Aussie Roland Ratzenburger - during the qualifying sessions. Both had a passion and great skill for F1 driving, and as a confirmed petrol-head, I decided that they should both be remembered, so later on I shall be raising a glass to their memory. Cheers chaps, and rest in peace. April 19 CadwellAll I can say is OMGFG!!
I went to Cadwell Park today for another round of racing from the Historic Sports Car Club and after an overcast and chilly start to the morning (well, once it was light. I left home at quarter to 5. Fuck thats early) the day became pleasantly sunny but breezy. The cars (oh ok, and the drivers) were superb and I have fallen for a rather sexy....... 1967 TVR Griffith 400. Its a thing of beauty with over 4.7 litres of howling, raw, power.
Unfortunately, sexy looks and proper grunt are one thing - reliability is quite something else (a 15 minute practise session and most of a 20 minute race all done flat out around a punishing track broke it). Shame really, but thems the breaks.
It was a really good day though, with minimal carnage (these babies are old. Parts and bodywork are tricky to come by so the drivers are competitive but fairly careful), but oh boy it was a looooooonnnnnngggggg day again. up at 4am out by 4.45 and home at 9.30pm. Night night all. I'm totally knackered! April 11 Glad thats over...Flippin 'eck am I glad this week is over and done with! Sunday at Donington Park almost killed me, seeing as it turned into a 20hr day. That was pretty much self inflicted, seeing as I voluntarily got up at 4am, voluntarily got to Donington (end of East Midlands Airport runway) by 7am-ish, did a day marshalling on Coppice corner (Fairly uneventful. The tunnel just after McLeans corner built for plant access for the new track modifications so it can host the British Grand Prix next year (yeah right. Bernie, you REALLY muffed up this time) meant an enforced no overtaking zone between Starkeys Bridge and Coppice, thus not much action... er, I mean competitive racing, not crashes of course), got home about 8.30pm then collapsed in front of the idiot-box till midnight which wiped me out for the next couple of days. Shame I had work as usual 9 o'clock Monday morning. Needless to say, I wasn't bright eyed or bushy tailed!!
What I needed was a quiet week in, what I got was a mate with girl trouble, wanting advice; so on Tuesday evening, instead of being schlomped on the sofa (as is right and proper) I was doing my 'Dear Deirdre' bit (in the pub of course). Wednesday, Hubby and I nabbed Lil Bratling's (Orange) mobile and went to the cinema to see The Boat That Rocked and it was really good. If you haven't seen it yet, why not???? The music alone makes it worth watching. skipping through to Friday evening and we watched The Dark Knight (really good but really long) which ment 1am and off to bed. Nice.
Shame about working today though. Bigger shame that I had a prang right at the end of my shift (I parked - not too gently - on the back end of a shitted up old K reg fiesta) and the driver (the Mad Cat Woman from South Park) leapt out and started on about how much her neck hurt and that she wanted "lots of compensation or I'm going to sue". She also said that she "was putting it through the insurace [feckin obvious that] no matter what" because she wanted to keep her car. I felt obliged to point out to her that as soon as she provides a quote, the insurance company will write it off (it was worth £100, tops) and she won't keep it. No word of a lie, this car was a skip on wheels. There wasn't even any damage visible from the prang amongst all of the scrapes and dints already there!!
So now, dear Spacers, I'm off to giggle into the bottom of a voddie bottle, because of the uncharitable comments made (about M.C.W) by my colleagues (She followed me back to work. Why, I don't know. She had all the details of my liveried company van, written by me - wearing company uniform - on a company headed accident sheet containing all the details she needed about insurance etc when I left the accident). The comments were along the lines of 'should have given her a couple of cats and a gateaux' and 'I wish my neck hurt that much - she was bobbing like a robin' *sigh*. Yes, it was my fault, but she has DEFINATELY over-egged the pudding in the 'I want compensation' stakes. |
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